Free Your Mind

Famous words by the character Morpheus to Neo in “The Matrix.” Essentially, Morpheus was telling his pupil that life is not what it seems, and the way out of the mental box he was in was to release old thought patterns.

We are all faced with this, as we seek to change our lives for the better… as we choose to create lives that we actually want to be living.

If you believed anything was possible, what would you dream? If you believed anything was possible…

Why don’t you believe anything is possible? Why don’t you believe that your life could change — drastically, fantastically — for the better? Maybe because you’ve been told, “This is how the world works.”? Maybe because you’ve grown up in certain societal constricts that define what you believe and what you allow yourself to reach for?

There are billions of individuals on this planet, leading billions of different lives. No two people are leading exactly the same life. Isn’t your life vastly different from someone living in a desert village in Somalia? How much in common does your life have with a person running a tourist fishing operation in Cancun, Mexico? What about someone living in a penthouse apartment in a 17^th century building in the arts district in Paris?

The point is that collectively, we humans are living many different kinds of life experiences. And if the life you’re living right now is less than pleasing to you, it’s time to think outside the box that you’re in and imagine a different life into existence.

Imagining a different life into existence is a day-by-day, moment-by-moment practice. And to help you maintain that focus, I invite you to sign up for my free weekly e-newsletter on tapping in to Inner Guidance and working with the Law of Attraction at BelieveInYourDreams.net/

“Should” is a 4-letter word

Of all the profane, useless, disempowering words in the human language, “should” is the worst — especially when we use it on ourselves.

“I should do such and such” immediately throws us into a space of using a criteria outside of ourselves to make a decision. When we say “should,” we’re really saying, “there’s a rule of expected behavior, and if I want to be accepted by others, I must follow that rule.”

Stop for a moment and think of a time when you made yourself do something because it was something that you should do. Maybe it was that you should visit your family during the holidays, when what you really yearned to do was take a vacation to the islands. Maybe it was that you should agree to be on the PTA of your child’s school (because all the other parents are doing it… because the teachers would look more favorably upon your child… because your neighbor thinks it would look good on your resume…) when what you really want to do is have a free evening to yourself. Maybe it was that you should go to your doctor to have something “healed,” (because your mother insists on it), when what you really want to do is honor your body, give it some extra rest, and let it heal itself.

This list, of course, could go on and on and on. In fact, for most of us, it repeats many times a day, every day — that profane word bouncing around in our heads, dictating our actions. The good news is that just an awareness of when you’re saying “should” to yourself, and the reasons behind it, can make a big difference in your life. You’ll see.

A “should” is always spoken by a voice outside of ourselves. Who says that you should spend the holidays with your family, and why? Maybe it’s because that’s what a “good” son or daughter/brother or sister would do? Maybe your family members and society will regard you as “good” if you spend the holidays with your family?

Why should you go to the doctor for something you consider to be minor? Because society tells you that the doctor knows more about your body than you do? Because it would be safer to have your illness checked out, just in case it’s something more serious that you couldn’t possibly detect because you don’t have an x-ray machine?

Why do we do this to ourselves? The answer: Social conditioning. The “voices of authority” that surround us have been telling us what to do since we were born. Our parents, teachers, religious leaders, political leaders, peers, newscasters, talk show hosts, and the ubiquitous “They” have been telling us what’s right and what’s wrong. We’ve been conditioned to believe in the validity of the Outside Voice more than the Inner Voice. But it doesn’t have to remain that way. In each and every “should” situation, there’s an Inner Voice that has a different message. And it’s our choice which one to listen to.

The simplest way to do this is to replace any “should” with “could.” You could join the PTA at your child’s school, and you can choose either to do it or not to do it. Just that simple substitution of a single word allows you to assess the situation, taking into account not only the Outside Voice but the Inner Voice within you. There are probably many reasons to either join the PTA or not, but the important point here is that, once you stop to consider the options, it’s your choice. Releasing yourself from the restrictiveness of “should” can be incredibly empowering. It also gives you great practice at listening to the Inner Voice, which will be beneficial in so many areas of your life.

Go ahead — give it a try. Every time you hear yourself say, “I should do this,” change it to, “I could do this, and I choose…”

Divine, Precious, Creative, the Essence of Love – who you REALLY are

“For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life.”  — Herman Melville, Moby Dick, Ch. 58

What is that “insular Tahiti” that Melville wrote about?  It’s the knowledge and certainty that we are divine, we are loved, we are precious, we come from the same Creative Energy which created everything and everyone else on this planet and beyond.

Can’t you feel it?  Isn’t there a place inside you that is utter peace, so beautiful, so pure?  Deep inside, you know that you’re actually Love, and that all this ugliness and meanness and smallness that makes up your daily life is nothing but a wet blanket that’s smothering your Spark.  That Spark can never go out, though; it’s your essence, it is the piece of you that is joined to the Creative Force which makes all things.  That Creative Force will not abandon you — can not abandon you, because you are a part of it!

Notice in the Melville quote that he talks about the “horrors of the half known life.“  There’s a human tendency to think that only those things perceived by our five senses are “real” or “important”… but those things actually make up much less than half of our life, they’re only a tiny portion of who we are.  Melville’s words resonate because you know  inside of you somewhere, there IS more to life and that a much more glorious existence IS possible.

So, how to access that “insular Tahiti” inside?  First off, take a moment to imagine a space within you that is pure love and knowing.  Now, notice how that makes you feel, just thinking about this pure space within you.  Do you feel relief, peace, love, hope, sweetness?  The words are not so important; your recognition of that feeling is what’s important.  It’s knowing and feeling that everything is okay, that everything is based on love, and that you are part of All That Is.  The next step is to bring that knowing/feeling into your life every day, as often as possible.  It’s that knowing/feeling that can guide you into an awareness of how to make your life more joyful and fulfilling.

Inside each and every one of us is the knowing/feeling space, our insular Tahiti, that can guide us in our choices and support us as we give ourselves permission to live the lives we truly want. 

Where did it go?

 As a newborn baby, our souls bounce gleefully into another chance to experience life on Planet Earth.   A new body!  Sights!  Smells!  Tastes!  Music!  Animals!  Sunshine on flowers!  Bicycles!  Another chance to experiment with a body and all the great things it can do! 

What happens to this unbridled enthusiasm?  We see it in every little child, but how many adults do you know who exhibit any enthusiasm for anything?  Where does it go? 

It gets socialized out of us.  They don’t mean to, but the souls who made it to Planet Earth before us were socialized, too, and they’re just passing it down.  As a collective, we’ve unconsciously created a world view of “how it is” and inflict these arbitrary rules and guidelines on all our young.  We tell our babies that they’re “good” when they do something we want them to do (like sleep through the night or drink the whole bottle); we tell our little ones “no” and “don’t do that” when they’re doing something we consider inappropriate, like reaching for an interesting object or running joyfully through the house.  We insist that our growing bundles of joy sit quietly and obey the teacher, when they’re bubbling over with ideas, curiosity, and energy. 

Not to despair – times are changing, and more awareness is creeping into our social structures.  We’re creating new modalities for learning and relating to each other, and are beginning to recognize the sacredness of the human experience. 

But what about you and me, grownups who were socialized until our natural joy and enthusiasm were squashed?  Is it gone, never to be recovered?  Heck no.  Joy and enthusiasm are inherent in our makeup, sitting deep inside waiting to be uncovered.  That process begins with the knowledge that, truly, life was meant to be lived with creativity and self-expression.  Awareness of the joy inside allows it to start peeking out.  Then comes a de-programming of all those voices that said you weren’t good enough, smart enough, compliant enough, anything enough.  All those messages were, after all, just something somebody once told you, no more “true” than what you choose to believe about yourself now.  It’s time to tell ourselves the NEW truth:  That we are beautiful expressions of the Divine, here to experience human life in all its wonder. 

It’s our birthright. 

                                    

What is my Soul’s Expression?

Eventually a question creeps into our minds:  “Why am I here?”  Next comes, “What is my Soul’s Purpose?”   

Consider asking this question instead:  “What did my Soul come here to experience or express?”   

Our Souls didn’t choose to live an Earthly lifetime to pay penance for some misdeed in a past life.  Our Souls didn’t come here to learn a lesson.  Our Souls didn’t incarnate with a mission to fulfill.  The Soul chooses to come to this time-space plane called Earth in order to experience it.  To feel it, touch it, taste it.  And to contribute Itself to the grand symphony that is Life.  

Each one of us is here to contribute our unique gifts, our unique way of seeing this world.  You are unlike anyone else on this planet, anyone else who ever lived on this planet.  You have unique gifts and talents, and a unique way of expressing them.  Without your expression, the symphony falls flat.  

What do you love to do?  What makes your heart sing, your pulse race, your adrenaline pump, your brain light up with joy?  You know what this is.  Don’t get bogged down with thinking that it’s not “important” enough or big enough.  Just answer these questions:  What brings me joy?  What do I love to do?  

At this point, you’re not trying to figure out what you love to do and make a career out of it.  You’re uncovering what your Soul came here to express.  This is important; the first step is to simply uncover your Soul’s Expression.  Incorporating it into your daily life is the next step.  Fashioning your career around it is a further step.  

For now, just answer these questions:   What brings me joy?  What do I love to do?  Think about this over the next several days.  Notice how your mood changes when you do the things that bring you joy, or even just think about the things that light you up.  

Then find ways to bring that joy-giving Soul’s Expression into your life.  Daily.   

Are you in a Commitment Conflict?

Maybe you’ve declared to yourself that things are going to change, that you’re finally going to drop the old baggage and move forward in a particular area of your life.  You set intentions, you think positive thoughts, you write in your journal every night.  But nothing’s changing.  Why? 

You might be in a Commitment Conflict. 

You say you’re committed to making a change, but you’re committed to the status quo.  The way things have always been is safer, it’s known, you may not like it but at least you know how to deal with it.  The changes you’re seeking are scary, unknown… what if you get in over your head?  What if things don’t work out the way you want, how will you handle it?  What if the change you’re seeking is worse than the scenario you’re living with now? 

Let’s take a common scenario: relationships.  Let’s say that you’ve done some inner work on yourself, cleared up some past issues, and have declared that now is the time to meet Mr. or Ms. Right and create a loving, committed union.  You journal about it, you meditate on it, you have post-it notes stuck on all your mirrors proclaiming your new intentions.  But inside your head, every once in a while, you say to yourself, “I’ve tried this before, it never works out.  The perfect relationship doesn’t exist.” 

You now have two commitments battling each other:  The commitment to create a fantastic relationship, and the commitment to prove that such a relationship doesn’t exist.  It’s said that humans would often rather be right than be happy.  If you make efforts to create a new relationship, but it doesn’t work out, you’ve proven to yourself that, once again, you were right.  In this case, you’re more committed to the belief that fantastic relationships aren’t possible for you. 

So be more committed to the change you seek than to the status quo… 

1.   Watch your thoughts!  When a thought that sounds anything like your old, limiting belief surfaces, deal with it right then and there.

2.   Be ready with Replacement Thoughts.  Write your new, empowering beliefs on, yes, post-it notes and notecards; have these reminders around you and use them.  They are there to replace the old thoughts whenever they surface.

3.   Take steps towards the change you want to make.  Brainstorm ways in which, in the example used, you can prove to yourself that fantastic relationships exist and that you’re next in line for one.  Search out validation that your new ideas are true.  Make your new ideas true.

4.   Make constant, steady movement towards that which you want, and leave the rest behind.  Our daily lives are made up of a series of decisions made moment by moment.  Pause and consider even the tiniest decision you’re about to make; could one of the choices support you in the change you’re seeking to make?  Be committed to making those changes. 

You may just turn out to be right.